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Witze der Kategorie English Jokes - Seite 2

Bewertungen: 186
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Fernsehquiz
Kategorie: English Jokes

Fernsehquiz in London. Quizmaster an Nonne: "Who was the first man?" Nonne: "Oh, that's easy: ADAM!" Quizmaster: "Who was made from Adams' rib?" Nonne: "Oh, that's easy: EVA!" Quizmaster: "What did she say when she saw him?" Nonne: "Oh, that's a hard thing ...!"

Bewertungen: 411
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sleeping
Kategorie: English Jokes

I´m sleeping very well in my quitsching Bettgestell. But in the middle of the Nacht, ist es dann zusammgekracht. I hope that is you not passiert and that my english better wird!

Bewertungen: 35
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The restaurant
Kategorie: English Jokes

Two elderly couples where walking on a nice Sunday in a park. The two women were walking behind their husbands. One man said: "we were in a restaurant yesterday, where I had the most delicious meat ever". The other man was looking at him and wanted to know “what's the name of that restaurant?". "You know" replies the other "since I get older you have to help me out a bit". "What’s the name of the flowers, which grow on a thorny bush?" "Roses" said the other. "Yeah that's it" he turns around and shouts: " Hey Rose, what's the name of the restaurant we were yesterday?"

Bewertungen: 234
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Weeweechu
Kategorie: English Jokes

One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said ..

"Hey baby, let's play Weeweechu."

"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon" said Jung Lee.

"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and its the perfect time," Huan Cho Begged.

"But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."

"Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me."

Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, "OK, we'll play Weeweechu."

Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a merry Christmas, Weeweechu a merry Christmas,

Weeweechu a merry Christmas, and a happy New Year."

Bewertungen: 29
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The Bus Driver
Kategorie: English Jokes

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times. At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the peanuts themselves, whereupon

she replies that it is not possible

because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them.

"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady answers, 'We just love the chocolate around them!'

Bewertungen: 179
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vampires
Kategorie: English Jokes

Three vampires go to a bar. The bar tender asks them what they wanted to drink. The first vampire orders a glass of blood. The second vampire orders a glass of blood. The third vampire orders a cup of hot water. The first two vampires ask the third: "why didn't you order a glass of blood as usual?" The third vampire tells to wait and see. As the bartender brings the two glasss of blood and the cup of hot water the third vampire takes a used tampon and says: "It's teatime!!!"

Bewertungen: 216
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Farted?
Kategorie: English Jokes

Two old women sit on a bench together. The one: Have you just farted? The other: Of Course I Have, or do you think I always smell like this?

Bewertungen: 53
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Tragedy
Kategorie: English Jokes

President George Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he

visits one of the classes.They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the

discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."

One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy." "No," says Bush, "that would be an ACCIDENT." A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy." "I'm

afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room.

"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. Bush, were struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, by a terrorist like Osama bin Laden, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic," exclaims Bush, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it

certainly wouldn't be a great loss."

Bewertungen: 134
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Italians
Kategorie: English Jokes

Why are the Italians so small? Because their fathers says: when you're tall then you must go working!

Bewertungen: 17
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Only one Dollar
Kategorie: English Jokes

An american men walked through hongkong. He was thursty an looked around for a beverage-shop. In a small corner he found a store with alcoholic beverages. Outside of this store there is an old chinese man sitting on a chair. The american asks for the price of a bottle of bourbon whiskey. Chinese man answers:

just one hongkong dollar, sir.

The american asks for 2 bottles and the chinese man answers: same price sir, one hongkong dollar. the american aksed again, why do you sell one bottle for the same price as for two bottles?

Chinese man answers: upstair, there's my boss fucking my wife, I am downstairs and I am fucking his business.

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